10 Unwritten Rules of Social Media
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10 Unwritten Rules of Social Media

♫ Where in the world
is Superwoman today? ♫ – Mumbai to start my world tour. I am so tired and so this video is gonna be so weird. What up everyone, it’s
your girl Superwoman and before I get started,
I wanna let you know, there are three very special announcements at the end of this video, so stay tuned. (evil laughter) So I think it’s safe to
say that social media has taken over our lives. I mean, don’t get me
wrong, we do hear like, the occasional sounds of nature, like birds chirping here and there. Just kidding, that’s probably the tweets from your Twitter app. We zaffed. And there’s so many different
types of social media. You have your Instagram, your Facebook, your Twitter, your Vine, your Snapchat, your Google Plus. What, what’s Google Plus? Hello, don’t be insensitive. It’s a store where the
bigger Google searches go to get their clothes. Duh. And because common sense isn’t so common, I thought I would give
you 10 unspoken rules of social media that we should all follow. Number one, Lego. If someone is beside you and your scrolling through your Instagram and you see their post, you
have to double-tap it, OK? Why? Because they are 100 percent looking at what you’re
doing on your phone. How do I know this? Because when I’m standing somewhere and someone else is on their phone, I’m always looking at what they’re doing and I’m judging them 110 percent. Therefore, it is absolutely
mandatory to like a picture when that person is in your presence. I get it, you might not
care about their salad. You might not even like their OOTD, you might hate their OOTD. Their OOTD could be giving you a seizure, it doesn’t matter, you
better like that picture. One time I was on a bus,
sitting behind my friend, who I thought was my friend. F-ing warlock. And she was scrolling through Instagram and I saw her scroll past my
picture like it was nothing. No double-tap, no single-tap, no taps at all, OK? It’s a desert up in here. She didn’t give me no time of day, she didn’t read my caption. I remember getting off
that bus and thinking, oh my God, I can never be friends with you because you’re a horrible person and you know what? You’re probably racist and you’re probably a thief anyway, so I’m never inviting you over. Always like the persons picture. Number two, as a mature adult, I’m upset that my friends
still talk to my exes. Like, I’m not a child, OK? However, on social media, you are not allowed to like your friends ex’s post, because that’s just a
public F you to your friend. You see this bottle? You might think it’s water, but it’s not. This is a bottle of my
sexy confidence, OK? Because I got a reputation to uphold, up on these Facebooks, son. You liking my ex’s pictures is destroying my street cred. How you gon’ publicly
disrespect me like that? Because you don’t understand what you’re opening the doors to, people are gonna see that
you’re liking my ex’s pictures and you’ll be like, oh my
God, I bet you she has like, the smelliest farts ever. People are gonna assume
all kinds of things. Don’ do it. Number three, if you’re
gonna be one of those couples that’s all public display
of affection on Facebook, do you. Post as many tie-dress
matching pictures as you want, but just know that the second you change that profile picture, everyone is going to assume
that you’ve broken up. How do I know this? Because I wanna know if someone’s single, I check their profile picture
and you do the same thing. Why? Because we’re all pathetic, stalker human beings. And to be honest, maybe nothing happened. Maybe you took a new profile
picture and you’re like, (grunts) my booty lookin’ right, I’m a change my profile picture. But everyone is gonna remember, hey, her profile picture
used to be of two Twix, now it’s of a single Mars. I bet you they ate a
Kit-Kat and took a Break. Stories, drama. Assumptions will be
made, it is inevitable. The best thing to do is
to keep your relationship off Facebook and where it belongs, in F-ing couples counseling. Number four, yo dumb. Lemme break it down for you, OK? We’re all in the same struggle together, we’re all trying to make it. We all have our own issues, so I’m confused as to
why you post pictures of me and you on Instagram, but you ain’t taggin’ me though. Do I not deserve your tag? Because now I’m just this anonymous figure in your picture. I am the unknown, I am
just a floating head, where no one will ever
know what my name is. Thank you for making me
Rhianna and she’s got me like, ♫ Oh nana, what’s my name ♫ Nobody knows. What you mad? Are you mad? You don’t wanna tag me,
you want your followers to maybe go to my profile and think, oh my God, look at this girl, she didn’t even post a
filter, hashtag no filter. Look how cool she is. Oh my God, now I can only
double-tap so many pictures and I’m gonna put my
double-tapping priorities to her, not you, you rude. I want to be tagged, why won’t you tag me? I wanna be it. Number five, I think this
is the most common one. When it’s your friends birthday, It is absolutely mandatory to post and Instagram
and or Facebook status with a huge, long, sweet caption, with a minimum, minimum of
four customized hashtags, to describe your friendship. If you really love them, then you wanna make a picture collage. I’m talking like, four
pictures from back in the day, recent, most recent, like silly face. If this is not done, it’s as simple as you
don’t love your friend and your wishes mean nothing and your gift means nothing, because you could literally by me a yacht and I will receive the yacht and be like, oh my God, thank you so much, so am I gonna read your caption on the yacht, or were we gonna read it on the dock and then board the yacht, because, where’s my caption? This is the modern-day
friendship bracelet, my friend. Moving on from that, number six. It is absolutely mandatory
to post a thank you status after your birthday, so you can thank all the 500 people you do not know, who wished you happy
birthday on your wall. I’m talking like, no special message, no exclusive message, no
specific message to you, just happy birthday. You gotta thank all of
those people in a status or you’re ungrateful. If you don’t post this status, then you’re super-ungrateful because hi, your neighbors, uncles, sister
wished you happy birthday, because Facebook told her to. That’s goals right there and you need to use the following words, lucky, blessed, amazing. Oh my God, I just wanna thank everybody for the birthday wishes, I am so blessed to have all these people in my life, who read the upper-right
corner of Facebook and wished me happy birthday, even though you didn’t call or text me, I’m so lucky, you’re all amazing. I’m so tired, I’m so weird. (gasps) When did I put lipstick on? Number seven and this one’s gonna get a little bit deep and sentimental. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Hear me when I say, a status
will not change the world, people will. So if you’re one of those annoying people that writes political, religious, sentimental, dramatic statuses, thinking it’s gonna change the world, hi, let’s talk for a second. Do not forget that some people on your Facebook friend list,
actually know you in real life and can detect when you’re full of crap. Because you can’t just write a status while being a good person and be a horrible person in real life. This ain’t F-ing Hanna Montana, you ain’t livin’ no double life. You can’t be Mother Theresa on Facebook and then F-ing Ivan Ooze offline. (laughs) If you understood that
reference, we can be friends. Ivan Ooze. But straight up, isn’t
it a waste of your time, writing some dramatic, angry status? Use that time and energy
and do something useful, like go plant a tree, brah. You could’ve planted a tree, that tree could’ve starred in the last Lord Of The Rings movie. You could’ve made a star. Number eight? Is it eight? Is it eight? There’s no one there. Number eight-ish. If one of your friends tweets you, it is absolutely mandatory
to either favorite or retweet that tweet. Even if it the world’s most useless tweet, this is just your way of saying hey, I see you, I see your tweet, I don’t really wanna give
it 140 characters back, so I’m just gonna click this button for the sake of our friendship. I want you to remember
my passion and dedication while I press this button, the next time I mistakenly
flirt with your boyfriend. Number nine. You cannot post a picture
of you and your friend on Instagram, if you look fabulous and your friend looks like absolute crap. Unless, yes, there is an unless, unless you post a picture like that and your friend also posts a picture where they look better than you. And I’m gonna explain why right now. If I post a picture and I’m just like, yo I look bomb in this
picture, but my friend kinda looks like she
just got hit by a truck. I mean, you look like
you got hit by a truck. It is cool, whatever, whatever. Cars, Disney, you were
accidentally on the runway. It’s cool, like all the cars hit you, every one of the Disney characters hit you, in the face, before the– (laughs) I’m so tired. Before the selfie. But that’s really funny. I’m sorry, back to the joke. Every car from Cars hit you. What’s the car’s name? McVeen, is that the car– (laughs) The car, the red car hit you in the face! And you look like crap. But if I tag you in this picture right now and people go to your profile and they look at the picture
where I look like crap, they’re gonna think hmm, I’m gonna give this
person a second chance, because maybe they’re not
always getting hit by cars, maybe they actually look
like normal human beings. therefore it’s OK. But it has to be that mutual
thing, where you both have a nice/ugly combination. It can’t just be that
I’m posting a picture, a one-off picture where I look good and my friend looks like crap, especially if the filters
don’t flatter my friend. I can’t be like, oh look at me, I look so angelic with amaro, but ooh, my friend wasn’t
born with a nose, my bad. That’s not cool, you cannot do that! Number 10 and many of you
may disagree with this, but I’m extremely passionate about it. If you come to my wall, under my posts and correct my grammar,
we are not friends. Hear me loud and clear when I say, (whispers) we are not friends. See, I don’t care if your,
you are, you’re here, this is my wall and I
will have as much grammar, or lack thereof, as I please. I don’t understand why. Why does my poor grammar bother you? It bothers you, that’s too
bad, cause you know why? Your profile picture bothers me. You don’t see me going up on your profile, be like, let me take your
picture, pop it into PhotoShop and correct that. Should I correct your face? I don’t know grammar, let it be. It’s fine, my wall will not go on to be in the honorary program, your wall will. Congratu-freakin-lations, OK? Anyway, it’s time for my
three big announcements. Number one! Surprise, I have a new app, a Unicorn Island app, it is free, it is for Android and Apple,
the link is in the description. Download it and you can see all the backstage access of my world tour, which is starting in a few hours. You will get access to secret meet-ups that I do across the world. I just get a whole bunch of other cool, phat interaction, cool stuff. New app, it is free, download it, the link is in the description and I hope you’re replying
to people in that app, which is being so
interactive with all of you. So go ahead and download that, all the information’s in the description. Number two. A Trip To Unicorn Island
officially has an Instagram and a Twitter, the link
is in the description. So you can tag us, check us out. Stalk me, it’s totally
active all the time. So if you want more of this, then make sure you
follow both those thangs. Number three, tickets for the UK
officially went on sale today and they’re almost sold out, so go ahead and grab
your tickets for the UK, www.lillysingtour.com. Tickets for Hong Kong are still on sale, Australia and Singapore are still on sale. And surprise, I have a few more tickets
for my first show, tomorrow in India and all the shows in India
that have been sold out, a few tickets that have
been held are opening up. Check the link, it’s
below in the description. Tomorrow, 50 more
tickets for my 19th show, my show on the 19th, tomorrow, aka in a few
hours, aka right now, are opening up and how
you can get those tickets is in the description. You’re gonna have to physically
go to the box office. But 50 tickets are opening up and the first 50 people to go, will get tickets to my
first show tomorrow. That section was sold out initially, but we’re opening tickets and that’s my time to speak english. I’m sorry, I’m so tired, but I just really wanted to make a
video and not let you down. So I apologize if I sound like
I’m sleeping because I am. Comment below and let me
know if you like this video. Check out my last video,
it is right there. You can check out my daily
vlogs right there as well. Make sure you subscribe
because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday and I really try to stick to that promise. One love, Superwoman. And that is a wrap, and zoop. I’m so tired but I still love you. Did I wear this sweater last video? I might have. Why did I put this lipstick on?


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