How can I fight my bad thoughts at night? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton
Articles,  Blog

How can I fight my bad thoughts at night? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton


Hey everybody. Happy Thursday! And I feel like I’m reading a speech because I printed out our questions today and I’m trying to figure out a new way to film, so I’m trying to get creative. Yesterday I tried to do it on the actual camera on my computer, and it was like ‘I’m disconnecting, disconnecting, blablabblah.’ So I’m going back to the way I used to do it, but then I’ve printed. It’s not very green. I’m sorry. I printed the questions today as well as a journal topic from Carly. So thank you so much for getting me that, Carly. And I went to my PO box and I got a wonderful birthday card and beautiful sweet letter from Carly. And I also got one from Emma Cupcakes, so thank you so much for saying that. It really made my day. And I’m gonna post pictures of that on Instagram, so if you’re not following me on Instagram maybe you want to. It’s katimorton1, because the other Kati Morton is some lady in Africa and so apparently my name is very popular. So on Thursdays I’m on Twitter. And I have three questions today as well as a journal topic. So let’s get cracking. So the first question is “Can sensitivity go away and if so how?” Now I really wanted to talk about this, because I feel like it just keeps coming up. Whether it’s people online asking questions similar to this or clients of mine or situations that are going on with my friends in my life. And being sensitive for some reason, or being emotional or being a touchy feely person is for some reason been given this horrible stigma. That it’s like terrible, and it means that you’re too sensitive. And it’s a bad thing. And it means it’s hard for other people to be in your life. And I really would encourage each of you to think about why being sensitive is so bad. I would encourage you to journal about this. I would encourage you to spend some time thinking about what you’ve been told about it and questioning what you’ve been told about it and figuring out what you really believe. Because I personally, and this is just me, this isn’t you know anything else other than how I feel about it. I think being sensitive is a great quality. And it actually means that we’re really good at reading people. We tend to be really thoughtful and caring. And doesn’t the world need more of that? I feel like the world’s too insensitive and not personal and hurtful without even thinking about it. Because they didn’t even think it all the way through. We know those of us that are sensitive, we think things all the way through. And I think learning how to hone that skill. Because I think being sensitive is a skill. How to hone that skill to better suit yourself. Obviously there are gonna be times being sensitive isn’t helpful. Like I, personally struggled when I worked in this hospital. Some of my co-workers were more harsh. And I had trouble with that at the beginning, but I learned how to manage it for myself by working in my own therapy. By recognizing situations that I don’t need to take personally and why, because often times it’s other things going on with somebody else. It’s something else happening I know nothing about. Most of the time it has nothing actually to do with me, so it can help to recognize that and to gain some insight. As we begin to think about what makes us sensitive, why is that a good thing, when is not good or helpful for us, and how can we manage that? Because I don’t want to say ‘Oh you know we have to have sensitivity go away.’ Because then we’re just these cold hard card board people, and that’s not what life’s all about. Life’s about loving, feeling. It’s filled with emotion and the ups and downs. That’s what life is. And so I think learning about it and recognizing in ourselves is the best course of action. And if you disagree, let me know below. I think that that’s something that we can all work on. Because I know many of us are sensitive people and I think that’s a great thing. That’s why I have the best fans ever, the best followers. Our community is like amazing. Everybody’s jealous. Right. Okay, question number two. “What should you do if your negative thoughts come mostly at night right before sleeping. What ways can you distract yourself?” Now I know almost all of you struggle at night. That’s the worst time. And you know why? Because shit isn’t going on, and it’s quiet. The lights are out. And the only thing that’s still going is the mind. And it makes us feel crazy. And so there are a couple things you can do. And I even have a video about how to sleep better, and if you haven’t checked that out I think you can just search on YouTube Kati Morton sleep. And it’s a funny one where I’m like this and there’s a little sheep. So yeah, can’t miss that thumbnail. Better ways to manage in the night are, there are a couple things. First of all, I prefer, personally, to journal or color or do those things at night. Like right before I go to bed. If you don’t like to do it in bed, then I would encourage you to do it so you’re getting out all those thoughts and all that stuff and then you’re going to sleep. That helps me personally. Everybody’s different. Some people will say ‘oh it stirs it up’. But for me it’s helpful for me to like agh, get rid of it, out of my mind. Bleh it’s on paper and then I can sleep better. So that’s one thing, doing your little tools and helpful things right before you go to bed. Another thing, that I do if I’m really having trouble sleeping or there’s something on my mind and there’s nothing I can do, is I, and I may have said this in my sleeping video but I do it and that’s why it comes to mind. I plan out my dreams. I dream up a story. Like I wake up and I’m in Mammoth and everything is amazing. The snow is falling. It’s so quiet. I can only hear the crackling of the trees. You get where I’m going with this, and before I know it I’m asleep and I’m actually in the dream I’ve created. Now I don’t know if that’s just my own mind and my own ability to do that, but it can really help. And it doesn’t hurt to try it. Right? We don’t know until we try it. And it helps keep us distracted. So those are the distraction techniques that can work and can actually help us. And the more we journal, the more we do our hard work, the easier it will be at night. But in the meantime those are some helpful things. Now I’m gonna ask you, if there’s something that you do that really helps you at night. Would you let us know below? I also find a nice distraction thing is going through Instagram and just searching through your feed, like your hashtag feed. And you can look at like different, or you can get on Pinterest and look at different pins, you can look at you know people traveling whatever. And that can be a distraction until you’re so tired you set your phone down and you go to sleep. But let me know what works for you. Share your information, because that’s really helpful. And everybody’s different, right? I can only give you examples of what’s worked for me or what I’ve told clients, so you know I’m limited. Okay question number three. “Is it possible to recover quickly from an eating disorder? I recovered in roughly ten months, but I feel fake because it was so fast.” Everybody’s different. Don’t let any kind of person or voice in your head tell you that any kind of recovery, even if it’s not from an eating disorder, any kind of thing that we’re struggling with whether it’s depression, anxiety, self harm, eating disorder, or anything in between. There’s no time frame. Everyone is different. If you worked your ass off and you’ve processed through all the shit that’s been going on, the reasons that you’re using your eating disorder or self harm or whatever. If you’ve worked through that, because that’s the real core of how we get better, is we work through the shitty things and the things that happen. And it may not be this big traumatic event, but it’s like ‘I really struggle during this time. I felt like I didn’t have support, so I turned to this.’ It can be anything. But working through that, figuring out why we actually use the behavior. It can be really quick if we’re just working our ass off. Some of us, for some of us it takes a really long time though. It depends on how, it depends on a lot of things. It depends on how much time we have to give to our recovery. It depends on how much time we’ve been in our eating disorder. It depends on how much support we have. It depends on how well we click with our therapist. There are a lot of factors. And your process is your’s alone. It’s no one else’s. So if ten months was enough and you feel better, then you’re better. Just enjoy it. Like celebrate. Jump for joy. That’s really exciting. I’m really proud of all the work you’ve done. And yes, recovery’s a process. So there may be ups and downs. You may have to go back in for some booster sessions, but don’t forget that like all the work you’ve done is still there. You’re not going back to square one. And ten months is what you needed, so give yourself a pat on the back. Okay. Now journal topic from Carly. Thanks Carly. Is, it’s a quote and it’s from Unknown. Apparently nobody knows who said this, but I’m saying it now. “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of creating control over what you don’t.” And I really like this. Rewind it back and listen to it again, because it’s kind part of the Al-Anon or AA, where they say ‘Give me the, the umm, the courage to change the things I can’ Or what is it? Man, I’m gonna mess this up. It’s been a long time since I’ve gone to one of those open meetings, but anyways the wisdom to know the difference is talking about recognizing what you actually have control over and what you actually don’t. And being okay with that difference. And recognizing it. Instead of craving control over the things that you don’t, because that will just drive us crazy. So I would encourage you to journal about what that means for you. What are things you find yourself constantly fighting to get control over? Even though if we think about it logically, we actually have no way of making that happen, getting control. And then what are the things you can actually change in your life to help you feel better. Because it’s all about what we can do. Right? So I think this is a really great quote. So I would rewind it back. Listen to it again, and then journal about it. Okay. I love you all. Tomorrow is finally Friday, so I’ll be on Facebook. Ask your questions there using the hashtag #KatiFAQ and I’ll see you then. Bye! Subtitles by the Amara.org community

100 Comments

  • Carly but really BATMAN

    I think I like that I am a sensitive person, but sometimes it's honestly ueber difficult and hard to deal with. I tend to take things the wrong way rather easily (though I've gotten way better about this) and I take nearly everything to heart. I over-think situations probably way too much sometimes and think about all the ways one thing I said or didn't say to someone affected them/the situation. I think I might just vlog about this because I have so much to say on the topic lol. 

  • MszLoveyDovey415

    Being sensitive isn't bad,it's difficult.I have been a very sensitive and intuitive person since I was a small child.Many people I have come into contact with have said "you're too sensitive"..It's like they can't understand how I feel things so powerfully and intensely,while I can't understand their insensitivity.I just don't understand how someone could hurt someone else and have their conscience not nag them.I would say that the majority of people in this world are insensitive (some sociopathic lol) and us sensitive folk are the minority.We are hidden gems just waiting to be discovered!! 🙂

  • Kirstin's fortid med spiseforstyrrelser

    When i was younger i always imagined that my life would get better and i would meet mr. right, and my life would be what i wanted it to be. then i could sleep. 

    i've had an eating disorder in 14 years and i also recovered in 10 month, i took a break from my studies and got a lot of therapy, and then i worked my ass off.  Now when i've recovered all my dreams, i imagined before i'd fall asleep when i was younger, is coming truth. I've found mr. right, i finally feel happy, and i've started to live my life as it was suppose to be. 

    I would never change my past, because without my past, i wouldn't be the person i'm today, and i wouldn't have the life i've today. 

  • Lili Maier

    To distract myself at night i love listening to audio books with my IPod or also plan my whole week in my head! I always fall asleep after some time 🙂 

  • Louisyed

    R.e. sleeping I would strongly advise long up ASMR videos on YouTube, might seem a bit odd at first but even if you don't get the feeling they describe they are really relaxing and help a lot of people sleep. My favourites are MassageASMR and TheWaterWhispers. Pretty sure Dmitri and Ilse have videos explaining ASMR too if you search their channels.

  • ihartevil

    for me since i cant have xanex because my parents are horrible people i drink tea and go to sleep to jimmy dores podcast at jimmydorecomedy.com it is so funny that it gets rid of all sad thoughts

    thx for this ha bisky Q and A

  • Brynn TempleWood

    Problems with falling asleep is what interests me a lot! I love your idea of keeping a journal where you can write down the worries that are on your mind! And I'd like to share my way of getting calm and empty minded in bed – it's ASMR audios and videos. Basically it's quiet random sounds like whisper or tapping, which give you tingles and relaxations. There are tons of youtubers making such videos, so you can always have a new treat for every night.

  • Chairty Howard

    When i try to go to sleep i also plan out my dreams and think about stuff i would like to think about. I also use oils such as lavender, ect, in an oil burner which really helps to calm me down and stop palpitations. 

  • Cheeseandpepstyle

    Omg I plan my dreams too! I used to do that since I am little, but lately it got harder to do.. but I thought I was the only one doing that haha xx

  • Pammila Allen

    Ok, following abuse I was living in my 3rd foster home, I think at that time I was being forced into one on one counseling with my step father who had raped me. I was fighting DCFS they kept bring me in for questioning, and they had put me on notice that they didn't consider me credible. I was 9 years old and very upset over the slight, that they were not taking me serious.

    I thought if I really reviewed my story, I could be prepared on answering questions, and that they would consider me more credible. I was really distressed, I was starting to suffer sleep deprivation, I was suffering nightmares, I was wetting the bed, I seriously thought my step father was going to find me and kill me. I started suffering hallucinations, delusions, and sleep paralysis.

    I think once I got older – won my case in court and was out from under DCFS when I was successfully adopted the stress / anxiety started to fade, I still suffered the sleep paralysis through out my life, but I started to get educated about it and with care to get sleep was able to prevent it for the most part. The dreams ended – but it was the result of a "waking dream" where I confronted my step father and in the dream I actually defeated him, and seen him die. IT was like a burden was lifted. IT was following that day, gong forward that I no longer feared that he was capable of finding me or hurting me any longer. The bed wetting subsided, the hallucinations still occurred with the sleep paralysis, but it was rare and no longer associated with the abuse. In fact last episode occurred more then 5 years ago.

    Most of these problems resolved back when I was around age 16. I am 42 years old today. I think as my mind was healing itself, it just faded out.

  • lovetherain

    I use the radio to distract my mind at night. I turn the volume down so low i can barely hear it. That way i have to concentrate to hear the music and this gets my mind away from the negative thoughts.

  • stormy lee

    I have to either be on the phone with my girlfriend or I have to listen to music, the thoughts are still there but not as loud.

  • Sarah Jane

    I love your videos and your personality. You take away the intensity of therapy and make it seem truly possible to recover. Thank you so much ☺

  • Sara Smith

    Do you have any tips for responding to people who tell you you are too sensitive. My parents say that to me a lot, especially after they have said something that hurts me and I try to stand up for myself. Sometimes I say, well its not a crime! But it doesn't help me feel better about what they said. At least its better than just being quiet when they are hurtful.

  • Jesi Leal

    What helps me sleep at night is listening to ocean sounds! I just focus on the sounds of the waves and eventually I fall asleep. 🙂

  • Mikki 93

    What helps me is taking a hot shower, drink some chamomile tea and journaling helps too. If you're like me and u have muscle tension, I like to stretch a bit before I go to bed it helps relax my body, hot pads on my back helps too …hope this helps someone out there 🙂

  • nicole babcock

    The best thing I have found to calm my anxiety at night is to lay down and read a book that I have read a million times for about 10 minutes. After that I lay down and I imagine different scenarios from tv shows,books, or movies and imagine that I am in that world. Takes me about 20 minutes to fall asleep but I dont have panic attacks at night anymore.

  • Gabriela Vilte

    Hello Kati, thank you so much for all your advices. I liked your videos. You transmit an amazing positive energy and I am trying to learn from you because you're a great person and professional. A hug from Buenos Aires.

  • cellogirl11RW

    I'm in a DBT program, and I find that filling out my diary card in bed helps me fall asleep. If, after doing that, I'm still not sleepy, I do the homework I'm assigned each week until I can't hold my eyes open any longer.

  • Liam Goldsmith

    I don't really sleep I have insomnia and when I do sleep I don't remember any of it I sometimes wake up with scratches and cuts it's weird.

  • spottylill

    I find reliving my best memories helps. Eg I go through my wedding day from start and never get to the end before I'm asleep. I also use guided muscle relaxation which is great. Teachers taught me this back when I was in my last year of high school. Very useful!

  • veryberry39

    It's more imagination stuff, but for everyday anxieties that pester me at night…okay, I've never said this out loud, and I know it's going to sound silly. But I picture stuffing each anxiety into a box…and then into a locked metal box. And then into a giant warehouse sort of building with multiple, complicated locked doors. Point is, I take a lot of time picturing these things getting locked up. And then I picture myself on a cloud tethered to the building, because even though I'm trying to distance myself, they're still part of me. Anyway, the latter part is just because I find the thought of sleeping on a cloud to be comforting. 😛 The general boxing-up bit tends to help, though! It might just be that all the thought effort of putting everything in all those boxes is enough to put me to sleep, though…

  • Becky Bangs

    I try to think of positive things to being into dreams . And always sleep with a fan on can't sleep without it!! Here's to positive dreams and restful nights!!

  • Anonymous

    Foe the second question I like to listen to music or even got to sleep with earphones in and listening to music. I usually read before bed until I'm exhausted and can't read anymore then I go to sleep. To be fair though I don't get a lot of sleep.

  • Nikki Hansen

    For the second question, everyone should try ASMR videos on youtube. These videos are specifically made to help people relax before bed and it makes the person watching the video fall asleep much faster than they otherwise would have. Good Luck everyone!

  • Joseph Molina

    Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!!!

  • Julian Stars

    I can't stop thinking about self harm while I'm trying to fall asleep and usually have really vivid dreams about it as a result 🙁

  • Holli Fugate

    I found wine, which works great but has some side effects. in all honesty, I'm trying to find something healthy to replace that.

  • Jori Church

    When I'm nervous before bed (pretty much every night), I try to say the rosary. Or some people just say the Hail Mary over and over. Sometimes people use their mala beads and say a mantra with each bead. Anything repetitive and reassuring seems to help a lot.

  • Pinhead Larry

    person:How do I fight the bad thoughts at night

    me: sleep

    jk this was just a joke. I hope this doesn't offend anyone.

  • Tommie mcclain

    Hey katie. I feel as my thoughts are always waking me up and then I have to bother my parents. So annoying but they said to do it. They don't want to see there daughter gone or dead. What should I do? #katiefaq

  • Francisca L Romero

    You're so wonderful! When I count my blessings I count you twice! I'm so thankful I found your channel! Be blessed ❤

  • Andrea Murray

    What if you’re a sensitive person but also struggle with empathy or people skills? I’m in the autism spectrum and I tend to be more of a thinker than a feeler. I’m extremely emotional but I have the worst bedside manner and lack the emotional intuition or maturity to anticipate what others might feel. So while I accept that sensitivity is a valuable trait for many people, I can’t see how it would work out for me. Maybe being sensitive forces me to be more introspective?

  • Pedro Urra

    First time subscriber, I am ADHD and have
    LD as well, I'm 37 and was in out of therapy when i was younger, havent been it therapy in a while now! but want to say your videos have helped me! anyhow! with sleep, i make myself think of peaceful times in my life! like someone loving me and holding me! something conferring!

  • Britfan06

    Kati,
    Your videos make me feel like I'm not a crazy fuck up. Your videos help me so much and make me feel like there is hope for me out there.
    Thank you for all you do,
    Aubrey

  • kailee borklund

    I listen to ambient music with only one earbud in and then I either just lay there and relax or I look at stuff that makes me happy. I mostly look at dogs on Instagram lol

  • krazy kay

    a distraction I used at night when I would wake up at night with racing thoughts was to put on headphones and listen to music as I fall asleep and when I wake up I focus real hard on the music and try my hardest to not let thoughts get a hold of me and that really helped

  • Teresa Muriel

    Once I crumpled up, uncrumpled and squished a piece of paper in my hands to get that nervous energy out until I fell asleep.

  • James Scamans

    I create and control my dreams, its called lucid dreaming its an ability ive allways had, being aware your in a dream takes away all fear an i can even change my dream to suit me. There is ways to help people try to do it but Im not sure it's somthing everybody can do. Try watching a film you like on low volume as you try to sleep or reading your favroute book and read it again in your head an picture it as you try to sleep.

  • Rick Hart

    Good stuff about the sensitivity. In a numbed out competitive world some sensitive people are definitely required

  • Alexis Pahlman

    How are you so helpful…. I wish you were my councilor. You really are an amazing person and I love your personality!❤️

  • Elise Code

    I often watch asmr—only two artists: latte and gentle whispering. I also daydream; it doesn’t become a regular dream but it distracts.

  • Grisel Almanza

    Your videos are very helpful. I'm here from Shane's video and I can't wait to see more. Yes I'm in the rabbit hole of your videos by I want to learn.

  • Jodi Rowell

    On the night shift schedule, there's a time of night when the rest of the world's asleep, there's nothing good on TV, the isolation engulfs us, and we want to die. Any thoughts for those required to defy circadian norms?

  • Tanisha Storm

    I have a strong blue light filter on my phone, and I have some card games on my phone. I relax and play those in bed up until I'm literally passing out. Last minute I plug my phone in and turn around and pass out.

  • Rosie Rentz

    something i do at night when i’m having trouble falling asleep because i think too much at night is to just make up stories , kind of like how Kati said she plans out her dreams . i’ll just create characters in my head and pretend like i’m making my own movie or TV show however i want it to be , and it’s like i can watch it before i go to sleep . and usually while it’s all playing out in my head , i’ll just drift right off to sleep without even realizing it . it really helps . 🙂

  • videovedo

    For the sleeping part: I suffer from depression, and I used/still sometimes use to exhaust myself watching movies until very late into the night. Like until almost morning, so that when I go to sleep the only thing left to do, for my mind, is to shut down immediately. But obviously this caused my sleep to be all over the place in terms of duration, reversing night and day, being always drained of energies even if I slept through the day.. (I don't have a job right now). Now that I am trying to set back my sleep into a more normal pattern to have more functional days I still go to bed late because I am a night person, but not too late, and I take melatonin to speed falling into sleep without giving my mind too much time to think, and in the meantime I watch ASMR videos on the phone. The two things go very well together, I must say, I manage to get to sleep in 20-30 minutes without falling prey of bad thoughts and actually relaxing a lot. There still are some bad nights though, but I have to say that I too have a habit to build up stories in my mind to get it off other thoughts and I try to go to these when I see that it's "going the wrong way". Usually I try to be very detailed, I go over the same situation over and over and re-tell it to myself as to improve it until it's just like I wanted it, then I move onto another situation to let the story proceed, and I keep going like this, as in a series that unfolds in episodes that I can pick up the next nights. I've been doing this for years and years, even before I began having trouble getting to sleep because of bad thoughts. It's like I first enjoy myself a bit imagining things, and then bore myself to death refining them, and it really works 🙂

  • ملاك

    The problem is that I feel comfortable with my negative thoughts, I feel it's realistic and real, I am very attached to them, every day before sleep I asked my self if I wanted to complete life or is better to die

  • Sho_B

    Kati! how do you journal? cos it sounds like a big task to me. is there any rules you consider when you write your journal?

  • joshua armstrong

    my wife is conflicted about twitter, she recently deactivated it due to stress because of drama happening to someone else, she initially got on to be social, like most do, but then got wrapped up in another person's drama, and she backed out of twitter because of that, maybe she approached the platform wrong? or what should she do, she didnt mean to get on twitter to be a phoenix wright type, she just wanted to see what its about and…so many negative jerks exist on there, too many, is it really as popular as we think it is? how should my wife use twitter, should she reactivate it or create a new one in a month, should she make a new one or reactivate? or should she stay away, any advice?

  • Feige Katarina

    I know they say technology is bad for falling asleep, but I need it to sleep. My head doesn't shut up, even sometimes when I'm listening to something else. So generally when I start trying to sleep, I listen to YouTubers. I DON'T watch it. I listen to it. I cover the screen. And if listening to a YouTuber doesn't work, I have a playlist of lullabies, or listening to a Secret Garden playlist, or if it's really bad and I really need help relaxing, guided meditation. The worst nights are when we lose internet. Then the only thing I could possibly do is bring the CD player to my room and listen to Don Francisco (not that any of you know who he is). I wonder if I have that thing that makes it hard to sleep?

  • FavGamingPro

    I don’t have problems but I’m forcing myself to have bad thoughts and think I have problems

    Edit: after that comment I started to think what problems I have but i could not find anything now I’m laughing and realizing that I was worried about nothing I don’t have any problems it’s just me who is making me to think. That I have problems 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂 and also I’m creating my own world too so

  • C.M. Davis

    I know this is an older video but I was looking up other videos and found yours about confidence and self esteem. I saw this one as one of your videos after watching those on the up next and I too have been having a hard time sleeping due to bad thoughts which make me restless. I will definitely try the methods of writing in a journal because I started that recently for other negative things in my life and it's helped.

    Also, for that quote, it's by Steve Maraboli (In case no one has said so yet) “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.” It's a good one and I was curious to who said it.

  • Minakshi Mishra

    what has helped me is, if you are someone who needs noise and don't want a too quiet place to sleep, invest in a noisemaker, also try using heavy blankets that really help to sleep better

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *