Okay, class… I am your new teacher for your new subject Social Media 101. Okay and I am here today because the school has
decided that all of you need to learn what not to post online like bad-mouthing your new teacher in class? Yes, you! I’m seeing this. You see, when I was young and stupid… like all of you. the only people they knew about my
life were my friends my family and maybe my neighbors. You guys, on the other hand, declare your stupidity to the whole world! And then wonder… Oh, teacher teacher! Why do I have haters? Okay! Let’s get started. Enough of chitchat… What are some examples of things that you could post online? Puppy videos? My parents’ birthdays? Okay. Things I like? Okay! That’s fine! Alright… We can post all that as long
as it is done in Mo-de-ra…. tion! Thank you! Yes? What about what I had for breakfast, my lunch, my dinner, my tea, my supper? Did you… your ears, are they working? I just had the best cafe hopping weekend and the world needs to see my flat lays. Oh! The world?! Yeah! My friends love it! Okay why don’t you ask your friends then? Hey friend! Why don’t you ask her whether she cares? I mean, lunch yesterday was really amazing right? Actually, I kind of unfollowed you yesterday… But why? I just don’t really care about… What? About good food? No… Anything you post at all… I don’t know you. Okay, what else? Yes? How about my sweet progress pics, bruh? Oh! Progress! How much of progress did you make from yesterday till today, brah? Umm, like… so much, bruh… ALMOST MICROSCOPIC PROGRESS How about showing my love for my bae? Okay, well, that’s great. I think it’s good to let people know
that you are in a committed relationship. Like, posting how spicy he is? That, is definitely not- How we’re so passionate and- and wild?! NO NO NO NO STOP! Exactly why we shouldn’t post too much of PDA online. But you HAVE to post up everything online! Okay, yes that’s good. So let’s move along to WHY in the world would you think so?! If you don’t post it up its not real! Not up Not happen! We are literally in a learning facility where we learn these things called ‘facts’! Like I said If you didn’t post it up IT. NOT. REAL. Okay, look People post tons of unicorn pictures. Are those real? UHHHH SIR! If they weren’t real how would people know what unicorns
look like? NOOO! OKAY, LOOK! The amount of nonsense that you guys think is okay
to post online I can’t even begin. Uh, sir? Its “I can’t even” DON’T even get me started on that. Okay we’re going back to the basics of things you should not post online Take notes! Your home addresses… credit card numbers and birth certificates Yes? What is it? If we don’t post our birth dates how will people know I’m born? THE WORLD IS ENDING!