• Subway Coronavirus Precautions, Dinosaur DNA, and Twitter’s Fleets Feature | The Daily Show
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    Subway Coronavirus Precautions, Dinosaur DNA, and Twitter’s Fleets Feature | The Daily Show

    The coronavirus. The disease is now officially in 85 countries, and it has over 95,000 confirmed cases. And it’s the reason even white people have switched to the fist bump. “And explode.” Now, here in New York, because the city is so crowded, the risk of coronavirus is especially dangerous. Because, you see, if corona can make it here, it can make it anywhere. (laughter) And that’s why city officials are taking action. NEWSWOMAN: The MTA stepping up its cleaning efforts to prevent the spread of the coronavirus on public transit. Workers are disinfecting 427 subway stations, wiping down the turnstiles, handrails and ticket vending machines daily. In addition to…

  • Trump Takes India | The Daily Show
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    Trump Takes India | The Daily Show

    President Donald Trump– still not used to saying that. Last night, he flew 8,000 miles for his first state visit to India. Now, Trump’s in India partly to negotiate a trade deal, and partly to get his copy of the Kama Sutra signed. Yeah, Trump and Melania use that book all the time. Her favorite position is the one where she’s on top, -and he’s not in the room. -(laughter) Now, you might be wondering how would a country full of brown people react to a visit from Donald Trump? Well, it turns out, from the moment Trump arrived, it was love at first sight. President Trump just arrived this…

  • Harry & Meghan Shed Titles, Harvey Weinstein Convicted & Coronavirus Goes to Italy | The Daily Show
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    Harry & Meghan Shed Titles, Harvey Weinstein Convicted & Coronavirus Goes to Italy | The Daily Show

    The royal family. They’re like the Kardashians, but less welcoming to black people. It’s been a month since Harry and Meghan announced that they wanted to leave the family, and now, they’ve been told that they’re free to go, but they got to leave their name tags behind. MAN: Harry and Meghan will soon be royals no more, at least publicly. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex released new details about their plan to step down from formal royal duties, including an agreement with the queen to not use the world “royal” in any future philanthropic or commercial pursuits. Though they will formally retain their “royal highness” titles, they will…

  • Coronavirus Hits America – Is This How We Die? | The Daily Show
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    Coronavirus Hits America – Is This How We Die? | The Daily Show

    Let’s talk about the coronavirus. According to WebMD, you already have it. Now, every day, we learn more about how this virus is affecting the world. So let’s check in on the latest coronavirus news in our ongoing segment, Is This How We Die? -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause) Last week, we learned that coronavirus has been making its way through Europe like a trust fund kid on a gap year. And after throwing Italy into chaos, the next stop on the trip is Paris. Uh, big changes in France today. The number of cases there has nearly doubled to 100. The government there really taking some pretty extreme measures.…

  • Bernie Surges & Biden Spins a South African Arrest Tale | The Daily Show
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    Bernie Surges & Biden Spins a South African Arrest Tale | The Daily Show

    This weekend, Las Vegas saw two of the craziest knockouts of all time: Wilder versus Fury and Bernie versus everyone. -(chanting): Bernie! -NEWSWOMAN: This morning, feeling the Bern. Bernie Sanders dominating in Nevada. Sanders not only taking the Silver State but besting his rivals among Latinos, winning both men and women, college and noncollege graduates and even scoring votes from moderates. -(chanting): Bernie! Bernie! -I am a U.S. senator, and I got a big ego, and I appreciate the “Bernie.” But it ain’t Bernie. It is us. (cheering) Damn, Bernie is really committed to socialism, right? Even when the crowd is trying to cheer for him, he wants to share…

  • Getting to Know Bernie Sanders | The Daily Show
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    Getting to Know Bernie Sanders | The Daily Show

    – Bernie Sanders. He’s become famous as the guy fighting against the millionaires and billionaires. (“Dog on Fire”) – Hi, I’m Bernie Sanders, I’m running for president. Our campaign is about taking on the powerful special interests that dominate our economic and political life. I’m talkin’ about wall street, the health insurance companies, the drug companies, the fossil fuel industry, the military industrial complex, the private prison industry, and the large multinational corporations. – Oh, damn. (audience laughs) Yo, Bernie has entered the race. And did you hear his list of enemies? This guy doesn’t mess around. He didn’t come to play, he was like big banks, little banks, Tyra…

  • Howard Schultz’s 2020 Bid, a Facebook-WhatsApp Merger & Peace Talks in Afghanistan | The Daily Show
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    Howard Schultz’s 2020 Bid, a Facebook-WhatsApp Merger & Peace Talks in Afghanistan | The Daily Show

    There are now only 644 days until the 2020 presidential election. And I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve already set my DVR. Yeah. I even added an extra five minutes in case it goes long. And this race was going to be pretty simple, right? It was gonna be the best Democrat running against Donald Trump. But now, someone has thrown a grande wrench in the works. The 2020 presidential race right now getting bigger by the day. A possible new contender. Former Starbucks CEO, Howard Schultz, he says he’s considering a run. He would do it as an Independent, taking on both the president and the Democrats.…

  • “Porch Pirates” Steal Holiday Packages | The Daily Show
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    “Porch Pirates” Steal Holiday Packages | The Daily Show

    With the rise of online retailers, it seems like everything is getting delivered to our doorstep. Last year, my cousin was pregnant, and her baby showed up in an Amazon envelope. Yeah. They saved on hospital bills and free shipping. But if you’re one of the millions of people waiting for a holiday package to be delivered to you, you better watch out– because some assholes are coming to town. NEWSMAN: Faster than they arrived, packages can disappear. Tonight, porch pirates are striking across the country, just as a record number of deliveries are being made. Captured on camera but not always caught by police, The New York Times says…

  • Another Mona Lisa, U.N. Climate Summit Fail & Amazon’s “Lord of the Rings” Series | The Daily Show
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    Another Mona Lisa, U.N. Climate Summit Fail & Amazon’s “Lord of the Rings” Series | The Daily Show

    Major news that is shaking up the art world. For a century, the Mona Lisa has been considered one of the most important paintings of all time, but now we’re learning it may only be half as special as we thought. There is only one Mona Lisa, right? Well, maybe not. This morning, what might be another Mona Lisa. If it turns out to be a real Mona Lisa, it could be worth half a billion dollars. This controversial other portrait, so similar to Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece, has long sparked intense debate. Is it just a copy or an earlier version finished by da Vinci himself? JEAN-PIERRE ISBOUTS: The…

  • President Trump Impeached | The Daily Show
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    President Trump Impeached | The Daily Show

    Impeachment. It’s when America moves its president to the spam folder. After 85 days of inquiries and debates, today was finally the big day. So let’s see how it all went down in another installment of the Magical, Wonderful Road to Impeachment. -(cheering and applause) -SINGERS (singing): It’s probably presidential harassment. Ever since the impeachment inquiry began back in September, there have been many days that have felt historic: the announcement, the testimonies, the day that Trump and Giuliani accidentally switched dentures and talked like each other the whole day. But as historic as those days were, today was the most historic of all. STEPHANOPOULOS: This Wednesday will long be…