The Daily Show Podcast Universe – Podcast Today | The Daily Show
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The Daily Show Podcast Universe – Podcast Today | The Daily Show


– [Trevor] Are you a busy
person who’s always on the go? This next podcast is for you. No bull, no filler, just news and analysis
that’s straight to the point. No beating around the
bush, no wasting your time, no repetition. We know you’re a busy person
who’s always on the go. This next podcast is for you. Buckle your seat belts. Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta
present, Podcast Today. (upbeat music) – [Michael] Hello, and
welcome to Podcast Today, where we cut through the
noise and bring you real talk about what’s happening today. – [Desi] I’m Desi Lydic. – [Michael] I’m Michael Kosta. – [Desi] Before we get
to today’s episode, some quick housekeeping. Thursday’s pod will
be released at 6 p.m. instead of 1 p.m. because
I have to take my dog to the dentist. – [Michael] Also a
little more housekeeping, Friday’s show is a
listener mailbag. Send
those
questions
to
[email protected] – [Desi] One last
bit of housekeeping, Thursday’s pod will
be at 1 p.m. again, my dog no longer has a cavity. – [Michael] Oh, terrific. – [Desi] Turns out my
dog didn’t have a cavity, he just ate a Sharpie. – [Michael] We should also
mention tickets are now on sale to our live shows
in Oklahoma City, Minneapolis and Hartford. – [Desi] Right, use code
I’m with podcasts or– – [Michael] San
Antonio, Jacksonville,
Biloxi, Philadelphia. – [Desi] Right, and
you can use code– – [Michael] Detroit, Miami,
Green Bay, Providence, Atlanta. Chesapeake, Fresno,
Norfolk and Boise. – [Desi] Is that all? Can I announce a code now? – [Michael] Go for it. – [Desi] Use code,
I’m with podcast– – [Michael] Indianapolis,
St. Louis and Providence, we’ll see you soon. – [Desi] Use code, I’m with
podcast for two percent off early bird tickets. – [Michael] I forgot to
mention Branson, Missouri. We’re also going to be
in Branson, Missouri. (upbeat music) – [Desi] Hey, just
a reminder that you should follow
@podcasttoday on Twitter. – [Michael] Instagram,
LinkedIn, Facebook– – [Desi] TikTok– – [Michael] Pinterest– – [Desi] MySpace– – [Michael] AdultFriendFinder– – [Desi] And of course,
the weightlifting forums. (upbeat music) – [Michael] This
episode of podcast today is brought to you by Shrimp Fix. – [Desi] Every week, Shrimp
Fix sends you a 24 pound box of delicious Gulf shrimp. – [Michael] Are you tired
of walking down the sidewalk with a big net full of shrimp? Try Shrimp Fix. It’s shrimp delivered
straight to your front door. – [Desi] Knock, knock. Who’s there? Look on your doorstep. It’s a big box of shrimp. – [Michael] Are you still
going to the grocery store to buy shrimp? What are you Amish? – [Desi] Log on to
shrimpfix.com/podcasttoday and your first order will come with a free bucket
of tartar sauce. (upbeat music) – [Michael] Before
we get started, we have an exciting announcement
about a new partnership. – [Desi] Podcast Today is
teaming up with the good folks at votesbank.org
for a great project. Here’s the deal, ahead of
the election, votesbank.org and Podcast Today are
going to make polling sites brand spanking new. – [Michael] That’s right
Desi, we’re going to renovate and de-vermin church
basements, school gyms, abandoned circuit cities, anywhere votes are
going to be cast. – [Desi] No more polling
places will be closed because of raccoon infestations,
unlike the last time. – [Michael] All you have
to do to participate is go to votesbank.org, sign
up, give them your name, email address, birth
date, home address, work address, income level. – [Desi] You just show up in
some loose fitting clothes preferably all black, bring
some work gloves, a ski mask and 20 feet of nautical grade
rope and you’re all set. – [Michael] Let’s spank
this election, flat palms, big wind up, firm contact. – [Desi] Votesbank.org. Together we can make
democracy brand spanking new. (upbeat music) – [Michael] You know,
I think it’s time to introduce our guest, Desi. – [Desi] Yeah, that’s right. He’s a correspondent
for The Daily Show with Trevor Noah,
Jaboukie Young-White. – [Jaboukie] Thanks
so much for having me. You know, the studio
is a lot smaller than I thought it would be. (group laughing) – [Desi] Now Jaboukie,
before we talk shop, you have a book to promote? – [Jaboukie] Yes, well
it’s actually more like a Twitter account. It’s my Twitter
account @Jaboukie. – [Michael] Cool and
where can our listeners find your Twitter account? – [Jaboukie] On Twitter. – [Michael] Fantastic, I
can’t wait to read it, Desi. – [Desi] Before we
get to Jaboukie, we just have a little
more housekeeping. Podcast Today is looking
for new theme music. – [Michael] So if you’re
an amateur composer and you want to compose
our theme song for free, you can submit your compositions at
[email protected] – [Desi] Just a few guidelines. Your theme song
has to be original. – [Michael] It has to
be less than 30 seconds. – [Desi] It has to be funky. – [Michael] It must
include a flute. – [Desi] There can’t be any
screams in the background. – [Michael] And it
must be in a frequency that sends marine
life into a frenzy. – [Desi] Lyrics
cannot include slurs against Macedonians or Turks. – [Michael] But they must
include at least two references to Sigourney Weaver. – [Desi] Get those
submissions in guys, can’t wait to hear them. – [Michael] Okay, we want
to remind our listeners to check out our sister pod,
Podcast Today this week. – [Desi] This week
on Podcast Today, this week will have
some amazing guests, including Montana Governor and former presidential
candidate Steve Bullock. – [Michael] Is he related
to Sandra Bullock? – [Desi] That’s what we’re
going to find out, tune in. – [Michael] You know
what I was thinking? If Sandra Bullock were
the first lady, she’d turn the White House into The Lake
House, you know I’m saying? – [Desi] I don’t think I do. – [Jaboukie] Yeah,
what does that mean? – [Michael] You
know, The Lake House. 2006? Keanu Reeves and Sandra
Bullock exchange love letters through a mysterious
time space portal inside of a lake
house’s mailbox? – [Desi] Podcast Today is
brought to you by Claire Space. Need a website specifically
dedicated to Claire Danes? Use Claire Space, we have
thousands of different templates you can use to create a
website revolving around the actress Claire
Danes and nothing else. I’m serious. If you try to make the website
about muffins or something then your computer will
crash and give you a virus. Claire Space because Claire
Danes is a national treasure. – [Jaboukie] Kosta, you
use Claire space right? – [Michael] I actually
use Claire Space to build my internet
tribute to Brokedown Palace. – [Desi] Claire Space. If you make a website
about Jennifer Love Hewitt, you’re gonna get malware. – [Michael] And now it’s
time to get to the point. (upbeat music) As always, Get To The
Point is sponsored by Henry’s Rusty Shave Club. Henry’s Rusty Shave Club
was started by two college roommates who hated shaving
with high priced razors so they decided to do
something about it. They bought a German factory
that had been making torture devices until it abruptly
shut down in 1945 but was still filled with
thousands of boxes of used, oxidizing 74 year old razors and Henry’s Rusty
Shave Club was born. Now for only eight bucks a
month you’ll get vintage, tetanus, lubricated blades
delivered right to your door. Henry’s Rusty Shave
Club, life is rough. Shouldn’t your shave be to? – [Desi] That ad for
Henry’s Rusty Shave Club is sponsored by Buck Banger. The fastest easiest
way to send money. Kosta, you use Buck
Banger this week? – [Michael] I sure did. So Monday I went to the
movies with my buddy. We saw Aladdin again. – [Desi] Oh you love
a rapping Genie. – [Michael] I can’t help it. Anyway, we get the tickets. We see the movie. It’s magical. And on the way out
of the parking lot, I run over a rare bird. – [Desi] Oh, a rare bird? – [Michael] Yeah, an
ivory billed woodpecker. Crazy endangered, huge
fines for turning it into a road pancake. So naturally, I opened
my wallet to buy the silence of
all the witnesses. But uh oh, I spent my last
Jackson on Mr. Will Smith’s heartwarming and
humorous Tour de Force. So what do I do? I open the Buck Banger app,
send $50 bribes to everyone who saw me do it. And I’m home by
dinnertime googling when is Aladdin Two coming out? By the way, the answer? Not soon enough. – [Desi] Uh, Kosta? You just confessed to a crime. – [Michael] What? The crime of loving Aladdin? If that’s a crime, then lock
me up in solitary confinement, preferably with a blu-ray
of Will Smith’s Aladdin, Buck Banger, the easiest
way to send money. (upbeat music) – [Desi] All right,
let’s get to the point. – [Michael] But before we do
we need to address something we said on Monday’s show. Let’s take a listen. (upbeat music) – [Desi] It’s Monday and
before we get started, we have some housekeeping. – [Michael] Right, Tuesday’s
show will be pushed back to 3 p.m. instead of 1 p.m. – [Desi] I have to
be home at 1 p.m. to get my latest
shipment from Shrimp Fix. – [Michael] Hey,
um, is it bad that, if hypothetically a
dog eats a Sharpie? – [Desi] Just some housekeeping
on that bit of housekeeping. Tuesday’s show was actually
released at 3.30 p.m. instead of 3 p.m. – [Michael] Instead of 1 p.m. – [Desi] Because we
had more housekeeping than we anticipated. – [Michael] And just a
bit more housekeeping. We are aiming to have less
housekeeping going forward. – [Desi] That’s right. Fewer house housekeeping. – [Michael] Fewer housekeepings. – [Jaboukie] Guys by the way, it’s actually houses keeping
like attorney’s general or ASAPs Rocky. Just so you know. – [Michael] And now
let’s get to the point. (upbeat music) – [Desi] Quick reminder, if
you like Get To The Point as well as other great
podcast today segments like Check This Out, Is This
Real Life, It’s Only Tuesday and That Just Happened,
rate and review us. – [Michael] Rate and review us. – [Desi] Rate and review us
on Apple podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Breaker, Pod
Squad, Hewlett Packard pods, Prodigy, Compuserve cast and
Earthlink.website/podcast/revie. And just to clarify because
there’s been some confusion that’s the backslash symbol
followed by the word backslash, if you end that URL with
two backslash symbols, it sends you to a pretty
out their website. – [Michael] Yeah, it’s real
jarring stuff actually. Anyway, those reviews
really help us out, they boost our rankings, which
allow us to be discovered by more people and they also
can serve as powerful character statements for us during
court proceedings, can’t they? – [Desi] By the way,
shout out to listener, David the Daveman 18. Your review saying we
were quote, awesome. Help me get back
custody of my kids. – [Jaboukie] Can I go now
or do you guys want me to weigh in on something? – [Michael] No, we’re,
we’re ready for you. – [Desi] Yeah, sure are. Our guest today is
Jaboukie Young-White. Jaboukie, how are you doing? – [Jaboukie] Oh, you
know, I’m pretty good. I’m doing pretty good and I
just wanted to throw in there, my appearance today is brought
to you by Just the Packaging. Do you love coming
home to something that
you ordered online but you don’t have the
money to buy lots of shit? Well Just Packaging will ship
you a big box of tissue paper, bubble wrap and all
that other stuff that’s so fun open
and that’s it. No meals to cook, no clothes
to try on and send back. It’s Just the Packaging. – [Desi] Thanks. Before we move on, we’ve
got some sad personnel news. – [Michael] We do? (upbeat music) – [Desi] This is Michael
Kosta’s final episode of Podcast Today. – [Michael] Wait, was I fired? – [Desi] We are super excited
about our permanent new host, Jaboukie Young-White! – What’s up?
– What? – [Jaboukie] I’m super excited
to break down all the issues of the day with y’all. Kosta, can you please get
your shit out of your office? – [Desi] You can still
listen to Michael Kosta on our brand new
international sister pod, Podcast Today Kosovo. Up to the date news
and commentary live
from the Balkans. – [Michael] Kosovo? Kosovo like the country? – [Desi] Just read the paper. (lighthearted music) – [Michael] Hello,
Podcast Today Kosovo fans. Tickets are now on sale for
our live shows in Sarajevo, Dubrovnik, Chernobyl, Bucharest
and northern Chechnya. Use code HalloKosovo
for 20 slatos off and so, I don’t even
have a passport. – [Jaboukie] By the way,
a bit of housekeeping, there is now an
emergency bonus pod for our titanium tier
supporters on Patreon. – [Desi] That’s right, head
to our fan page right now to hear an exclusive five
alarm bonus pod that features our extended interview with
Podcast Today Kosovo host, Michael Kosta, who will
have secretly infiltrated a Chechen terrorist group. – [Michael] People,
point of order please. Has the new Aladdin even
been released in Kosovo? – [Desi] Podcast Today
is produced by Tom Baylor and Sheila Mansfield and
recorded a Daily Show Studios in the heart of Manhattan’s
little Belgrade. Trevor Noah is our
managing editor. Our research is provided
by Miroslav Bercovic and Bogdan Djokovic. Our audio engineer
is Petra Mastoravic. – [Jaboukie] Legal services
provided by the law firm of (beep) Milosovic. A man known only as the
Scorpion is our lookout, an unsuspecting Uber driver
named Cynthia is our wheelman and laundry and pet sitting is
handled by Zivco Vuyadonovic. – [Desi] Our fabulous
interns are Greg Rasputin, Lizzie Borden the third
and Lyle Manendez. Kosta, wanna leave us
with any parting words? – [Michael] Yeah,
actually, I just googled and Aladdin is not
in Kosovo right now. There’s no, it doesn’t
seem to be showtimes or movie theaters. This is kind of what
keeps me grounded, and, oh, you have
nothing to say now? Both of you? – [Jaboukie] I guess
you could wait for it to show up on Prime. – [Michael] And now you’re the
fucking host all of a sudden. I mean, you didn’t even
know, you didn’t even know that you were going
to be the host. (upbeat music) – [Jaboukie] But I– – [Michael] Just wait
dude, just give it 10 years of hard work and then you
see how they treat you. – [Jaboukie] Right, well,
you know, I stepped up to the plate and I think
maybe that could be a part of the reason why. – [Michael] Couldn’t
even pronounce Zejanovic. (upbeat music)

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