Trump Is Totally Fine with Being Impeached | The Daily Show
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Trump Is Totally Fine with Being Impeached | The Daily Show

The 45th president
of the United States got impeached. -(cheering and applause)
-Hey, whoa! Well, you guys
might be cheering, but when Democrats in the House
tried to cheer last night, Nancy Pelosi shut it down real fast. NEWSWOMAN: House Speaker Nancy
Pelosi maintaining control of her caucus with a glance
and a gesture alone at one point yesterday. On this vote, the yeas are 230. The nays are 197. Present is one. Article I is adopted. (scattered applause) (laughter) Damn. Nancy didn’t want to hear
any gloating last night. She killed
that celebration quick. Did you see that? That kind of look
would send a champagne cork back into the bottle. That-That’s how intense
that was. They were like, “Pop! Whoop.” But while the Democrats
were impeaching, the impeachee himself
was holding a rally in Michigan, and he wants everyone to know that he’s totally okay
with being impeached. It doesn’t really feel like
we’re being impeached. Do you… That’s why…
You know, with Richard Nixon, I just see it
as a very dark era. Very dark. Very… Oh. You don’t even like to think. I don’t know about you,
but I’m having a good time. It’s crazy. Aw. Poor Trump, man. He just became
the third president in history to get impeached,
and you see what’s happening. He’s trying to convince everyone
that it doesn’t bother him. You know, he’s just like,
“It doesn’t even feel like… like we got impeached.” Like, yeah, no, not “we.”
You got impeached. There’s no “we.” You know what
this reminds me of? This reminds me of, like,
when you were a kid and then you wiped out
on your bike in front of all your friends, but then you got up
and you had to play it cool. And your friends were like,
“Hey, man, are you okay?” You’re like,
“Yeah, that wasn’t nothing. “I-I did it on purpose ’cause I thought
it would be funny.” And your friend is like, “Dude, I can see the white stuff
under your skin.” You’re like,
“Yeah, I’m going home.” (whimpers) So, Trump…
Trump really wants people to think that impeachment
is no big deal to him, but he also wants you
to think it was a travesty. I’m the first person to ever get
impeached and there’s no crime. I– Like, I feel guilty.
You know what they call it? Impeachment lite.
It’s impeachment lite. You know what they have done? They’ve cheapened
the impeachment process, and now… anybody
that becomes president, I mean,
they could have a phone call and they get impeached. Okay, first of all, “impeachment lite”? There’s no impeachment lite,
okay? Impeachment is like herpes. You either have it or you don’t. “Oh, don’t worry, baby. This is just
some diet herpes right here.” (chuckles)
And, also, I like how he says everyone who
becomes president from now on can get impeached
for having a phone call. Obviously, what Trump said
on the phone call with Ukraine is what matters, not the fact
that he just made a call. Like, Trump’s
either being disingenuous or he took completely the wrong
lesson from this whole thing. Because this would be like
O.J. going, “All right, fine,
I learned my lesson. I won’t wear gloves anymore.” Although…
(chuckles) although part of me,
part of me thinks that Trump is just setting up
an excuse for not calling Eric
on his birthday. That’s what he’s just doing.
“I’m sorry, Eric. I just can’t call you. I
can’t risk another impeachment.” “But you said
it was impeachment lite.” “Still too risky, boy.
Too risky.” So, look, man, Donald Trump
can try and act like he doesn’t care
about impeachment, but you cannot deny
that this is a bad way for him to end the year. So, here at The Daily Show,
we thought, with this being our final show
of 2019, we would do the president
a solid and focus on one of his major
achievements of this year, inventing an incredible array of new words. I know words.
I have the best words. ♪ ♪ He was awarded the Bronze Star and the Combat “Infantroopen”
Badge. Heart, lung
and liver “transpants.” And to “deligitimatize…” Made a “pivittible” f– Really, and, I mean, this was pivotal. “Heroilynn” alone– if you look
at the heroin epidemic… To fully reauthorize
the “9/Elective”– 11 victims. President Franklin
“De-lay-no” Roosevelt. We must seek
real “bipartiss solucius.” “Asbadidizziz,”
it-it meant something. And all 50 states
to immediately waive all “apliculibulls” state taxes. Americans of all walks of lice
“rofe”– rose up. And we used to have
“raydoh” f-f– like, I think radio. You know, we just sent
another “slock rocket.” Y-You saw that, right? The stock market. On January 23, “Veneswaylass…” By “Venezwellzso”… “Venezwhalezz.” I hope they now go
and take a look at the oranges– the oranges of the, uh, uh, investigation, the beginnings. You’ve really, uh, put
a big investment in our country. We appreciate it very much,
Tim Apple. More than 2,000 years ago, a brilliant star shone
in the “eastwisemen” traveled far, far afield. “Enentheyannouced
therewasnobyesno.” You know what… To improve this country
and “duurrrr” if a government… I have the best words.
I have the– But there’s no better word
than “stupid.” Can’t wait to see
what he comes up with next year.


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